It’s NOT the Thought That Counts

I Didn’t

It’s the thought that counts. I’ve said that plenty of times in my lifetime. It’s probably because it makes me feel better about something I didn’t do. Quite frankly, it’s a cop out.

I didn’t buy my mom a birthday present.

I didn’t take my neighbors the cookies I made them.

I didn’t go visit my elderly neighbors.

I didn’t call my grandparents.

I didn’t pack Matt the surprise snack I made for him to show I was thinking about him.

I didn’t make Liam eat his vegetables.

I didn’t buy the shirt I saw that reminded me of a friend.

I didn’t send the art work Liam made to his grandparents.

I didn’t make Lake a baby book.

I wish I could say I was making all these examples up…but I’m not. Each of those examples I have been guilty of doing. Actually, all but one.

I DID make Matt his surprise snack. But it was at the last minute when I had this exact conversation with myself. I’d planned to make cookies the day before to send with him the day of a speech he had to make. I didn’t make them. So that morning, when I thought about it again, I made myself do it. Instead of cleaning the house or doing the fifteen things on my to-do list, I prioritized my husband and made him some cookies. And, between two babies napping, I got them to his work before he headed out of town.

He appreciated them and I’d like to say it made him feel loved. Much more loved than if I had said “I had thought about making you cookies for the road today.”

I’ve Got to Do It All the Way…Not Half Way

So often I think of something and never do it. Or, almost even worse, I half do it. I’ll think, “I should send so and so a card.” I might get the card, write in it but can’t find a stamp. And two weeks later I find the unstamped envelope still on my counter screaming at me “I wasn’t a priority!!!”

I’ve made plenty of cookies for neighbors that have only been eaten by my family.

I could easily call up my friend and tell them all about the shirt I saw at Target that reminded me of them. And they’d go, “Oh, how cool,” and never think about it again. The thought barely counts.

Or, I could buy the shirt and mail it to them with a note about how it reminded me of them. That thought (and action) DOES count. That will make them see that I truly care about them. That shows them that they mean something to me.

I could call my elderly neighbors up and say, “I am so sorry I haven’t been over in a while. I’ve been thinking of coming,” and they’d feel happy that I called. But me thinking about coming over does not mean anything.

Me actually putting the boys into the car and driving over to see them for an hour is what will make them feel appreciated and cared for.

Scheduling Priorities

Kayse Morris said it best on one of her podcast episodes when she said,

What matters most to you will become a priority.

The key is not to prioritize what is on your schedule but to schedule your priorities.

Kayse Morris

It’s so true.

I can tell a friend, “Let’s go to dinner on Saturday,” and then change my mind and do something else before we officially make plans. My friend doesn’t care about the fact that I THOUGHT about going out with her.

I can say all day how this is important or that is important but if I don’t prioritize that item and put it into action, it’s not REALLY my priority.

My Priorities

This hits home to me in simple things like housework and my side gig jobs or big things like relationships.

If I don’t prioritize my time with VIPKID, I will fail. I’ll stop getting bookings or they’ll fire me. If I don’t prioritize cleaning my house, it’ll forever stay dirty. Heck, if I don’t prioritize my children, it will begin to have an affect on them.

Which brings me to something that can be hard. I must prioritize time to foster my relationships with friends and family both near and far. And I pray that they will prioritize me. If not, those relationships will fail. And it’s much harder to come back from a failed relationship than to simply nurture and prioritize it here and now.

Make a Change

I don’t know if this hits home for you or not. Maybe it’s just me.

But if it does, I hope the next time you think about something you need to do, that you’ll put it into ACTION.

I’m at the grocery store and I see something that reminds me of my grandma which sparks a need to call her. I most likely can not call her at that moment (you know, two kids, busy grocery store) but I CAN make it my priority to schedule a time to call her that evening, during nap time or early the next day…and then stick to my schedule.

I know I’m going to work very hard on that this week.

Here’s to making what matters a priority!