Confessions of an (Almost) Second Time Mom

Being a first-time mommy brought plenty of fears. The number one: Will I be able to keep this child alive?! But being a second-time mommy is bringing a whole new crop of fears. Nothing that is surprising, though. There are so many articles about how to prepare for a second child and numerous blog posts of exactly what I’m about to write: fears of having a second-born. But, common or not, things are about to change. Our family is going to change. Life is about change…forever!

Don’t take my cuddles away!

My four-year-old loves to snuggle. He is infamous for walking up to me or his dad and saying “Let’s snuggle on the couch.” How can we ever resist? I know these snuggles will taper off the older he gets but for the time being I still want them! But, in the next few months I know there will be times where I’m with Baby and won’t be able to cuddle. My fear is not about Liam getting upset or angry that I can’t cuddle. He’s an understanding child (for a four-year-old). My fear is him just not asking anymore.

Love All Around

My guess it that this is probably the most common fear of mom’s with multiple kids. Will I love my second-born as much as the first? So my fear isn’t unique. But it doesn’t mean it’s not something I think about all the time. Personal (uncomfortable) truth: Yes, I was in awe of Liam when he was born. But it took a few days before I was head over heels in love. I think I was so overwhelmed by all the changes that that feeling took a while to fully come around. But, oh, how much I loved him once my emotions and hormones calmed down.

The last thing I want is to feel the same way about Baby even if I know the feelings will come. I know there is enough room in my heart for 2 (or 3 or 4 or 5) children but at this very moment, it seems impossible to love another small human as much as I love Liam.

Crankiosaurous

Sleep is a wonderful thing. I have always loved sleep. I still love sleep. My perfect uninterrupted night’s sleep would be for 9 solid hours. By ten, I’m dreaming crazy things. And eight is just not quite enough. More often than not, I can get that on Saturday mornings. And it took almost four years for that to be possible!

Pause. Four years?! Oh my.

But that time is a sweet spot that has come and is about to be gone. I am preparing myself for those long nights of constantly interrupted sleep. But my worry isn’t necessarily about the lack of sleep – though I’m not looking forward to it. It’s about how I will react to the lack of sleep in the presence of Liam. Patience is key to dealing with any little boy. And I need sleep to have patience! I don’t want to be snapping at him simply because I am tired.

Where’s the routine?

Right now, Liam and I have a pretty good morning routine going on during the weekdays. He knows that before any TV time he must have his Morning Chart completed then he gets his one show (or, you know, two if I’m enjoying some me time). The same is true for the evenings. He has his Nighttime Chart to complete before his evening TV show(s). While it may not always be smooth sailing, he knows the expectations and eventually he gets the job done. I’m no dummy in knowing that we will make new routines once Little One comes along. But knowing something doesn’t mean there can’t be fear. We will be out of sync for a little while but slowly but slowly a new version of our old routine will appear.

Mini Terror

How many times has an article popped up on Facebook telling me that second-borns are wilder and crazier than firstborns? Or how many friends would lay their hand on a Bible and swear it’s the truth. So, I am preparing. Rather, I should probably be preparing my husband. Liam is his mini-me. So #2 is probably going to be his Mini-Me Extreme!

Look at Me!

It’s so easy to give an only child attention. We lay and read books. We color. We homeschool. We craft. We cook. We go places…lots of places.

Hang on. Let me take that all back. It is still very hard to give an only child the attention they crave exactly when they want it. Just this morning I heard “I want you to color with me” at least twenty times. I was in the middle of cleaning the kitchen which NEEDED to be done. Wiping counters. Cleaning the microwave. Mopping the floor. After finally finishing, we did sit down and color. But I shouldn’t say that giving an only child one-on-one attention is easy because that’s far from the truth.

Now, it’s just going to be that much harder!

I can see bedtime becoming a quality one-on-one time for us as we begin to get into a good routine. That is, if I can keep my eyes open at the end of the day. And, making some one-on-one date night’s (or days) a priority will be a must in the future.

So, yes, I have fears. But I know that each of these unpleasant thoughts will be quickly forgotten as this child enters and becomes just another center of my universe. I know that some times I’ll feel like I’m failing and other times I’ll feel like SuperMom.

What matters is making sure that each day both boys know they are loved. Love doesn’t have to be a huge show. Love is a hug and a kiss. And I can’t imagine ever going a day without hugging or kissing either of them.

Seven more days to love, squeeze, kiss and spoil my only child!

Does any of this resonate with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts! Leave a comment above or below.