June 5, 2014
I think I jinxed myself last night. I was reminding Matt about today’s appointment. I admitted to him that despite three positive tests I was still a bit apprehensive about whether it would be positive at the doctor. When he asked why, I told him that I just didn’t feel any different. “Not feeling bad or anything” may have been my exact words. Now, I knew well enough that I probably wasn’t far enough along to be getting sick yet but I still admitted my thoughts to him. BAD IDEA!
I woke up around five feeling…ugh. It ended up going away by early afternoon but it didn’t keep me from having a chat with God for doubting what I already knew and begging him to please lay off the morning sickness if at all possible.
So, while the news is official, life’s still the same. Until we tell people. I’m excited to tell the news when we’re ready. Most everyone is dying for Matt and I to have a baby. The grandparents are ready to be grandparents. The sisters are ready to be aunts. Meredith asks me just about every time I see her when we’re having a baby. (Does all this excitement from you, Meredith, include free babysitting?) The Toney girls are ready to be baby sitters. Wendy is dying to be able to talk Mommy stuff with me. Jessie is probably getting tired of convincing me how wonderful motherhood is (actually, she’s probably not). I love surprising people with anything so I’m very excited to see everyone’s reactions.
But, once we tell, it’s on. That’s all that will be talked about. How am I feeling? Shopping for this. Getting ready for that. The nine month time line….well, technically eight I guess (!!!!!)….will tick away very quickly.
Every time I lay on the couch now or sit on the porch and read or sleep in late or go for a quick shopping trip or head out with friends, I’m going to think ‘Better enjoy it now because it’s not going to be this way again until your like 50’. I try and keep these thoughts to a minimum but when you’ve had 10+ years of living like that it’s kind of hard not to think.